How to do road trips with kids

It was our third hour of being stuck on a French roadside in 34-degree heat that I began to question whether this road trip business was such a good idea. We were three days into a two-week-long holiday in France, when our car had given up the ghost somewhere outside the south-western city of Valence – just over two hours from where we were meeting the rest of our family in Arles for the second leg of the trip. My husband, our three-year-old Lenny and I hid from the scorching sun under the one single tree nearby, drinking the remainder of our bottled water which by this point was the temperature of a warm bath. We waited and we waited some more for car insurance company Green Flag to come to our rescue. I don’t know who found it more difficult to emotionally regulate – me or my son

All I do know that when a local mechanic did finally arrive, it soon became the best day of Lenny’s life. After a motor triage session, it was decided that the car would need to be taken to a garage 50 kilometres away in the pick-up truck with us in the back. If you ask our child about the highlights of this trip, it was not the beaches or boats of St Tropez, nor the chocolate ice cream in Beaune, but his ride in the ‘big pink truck’. That and pushing his poor unaware Uncle Ally in the swimming pool. We all consider that a highlight

We can try as much as we can to make holidays perfect for our kids, but often it’s the unexpected imperfections that they remember the most – and how they became part of the adventure. Kids, especially little ones, are blithely unaware of the inconveniences a breakdown can cause; they couldn’t care less about the financial implications or whether or not it’s encroaching into the time of the trip; they see it as part of the ride, and therefore are very good at seeing the bright side – and this optimistic mindset can be very catching and useful for jaded adults

I remember a road trip to France with my family when I was around 13 that was blighted by four breakdowns in five days. I remember two things from that experience – my dad understandably losing the will to live by day five and kicking the car tyre repeatedly with great verve, and also the fact that it meant staying in a hotel for the first time. It wasn’t fancy, a Novotel with a swimming pool that was closed soon after we arrived due to my brother finding a dead bird floating in the water. But to me, it was so exciting. A hotel! How glamorous. There is so much expectation on a holiday to be perfect; social media is especially bad for raising the bar about how a family getaway should look, but ultimately it’s the detours and the unexpected that makes for a truly memorable experience that will be talked about for decades to come

The abridged version of our recent France trip was that my kindly dad, who had already reached our destination in Arles, did a four-hour round trip to pick us up from the remote village where we were stranded. By the time he’d arrived, the big-hearted mechanic had driven us to his favourite local restaurant in the pick-up truck (what an entrance that was), and shared our hellscape of an afternoon with the owner, who promptly gave us a free round of drinks and recommended we try the regional delicacy – a Gallic answer to ravioli called Ravioles du Dauphiné, delicate pasta parcels stuffed with either meat or French cheese. If you should ever find yourself in the village of Loriol-sur-Drôme in France, do consider La Raviole

Sitting outside this perfect restaurant, Lenny saw bats for the first time. None of this was the plan, but it worked out the way it should. Kids see road trips as a mystery tour and so should grown-ups if they can let go of planning every small detail and embrace the joy of just going with the flow – the good and the slightly bumpy

However we travel, whether we fly, take the train or drive, we’ll come across unforeseeable events. Flights will be delayed, trains might be cancelled or cars might breakdown, but only the latter will afford you as much flexibility. A road trip allows you to explore on your own terms

There’s also something about driving across a country that offers a different kind of view – from the car windows, we see the landscape changing before us. The flat fields of Calais soon unfolded into the rolling vineyards surrounding Dijon before later the wide-framed wetlands of the Camargue and the semi-spherical skies that inspired Van Gogh. After our week there, we drove on again to St Tropez, round winding, tree-flanked roads that eventually gave way to views of the glittering Med

With a car, the nooks and crooks of a region are all accessible. We wound down our windows as we were driving through Maures hills to breathe in the scent of pine trees. Road trips simultaneously provide a sense of distance and also connectivity, which is helpful for children to understand. There is a big world available to them and it’s closer than they might think

Being in the car (breakdown aside) delivered flexibility; there was no rushing for flights or worrying about baggage restrictions. We were on our own time, and free to get out of said car whenever somewhere looked pretty (or when someone needed the potty). We lived at our own pace, which meant we could be more present without hard deadlines or cut off times

Of course, there were moments where emotions frayed. It is still astonishing to me that someone can have so many differing needs at once – how can someone’s nose be so perpetually in need of wiping and why somehow are the snacks that so welcomed at home completely unacceptable in a different country? There were times where I felt my neck muscles would suffer from a repetitive straining injury from turning around every four minutes. There was another point where my son threw a leather football at my face, hitting me square on the nose, and I’m afraid reader I did not gentle parent. I began to identify toy stands at petrol stations as if they were toxic hazards. At times, I felt like an air steward dealing with Easyjet’s most demanding, and emotionally volatile passenger. But that’s travelling with kids right?

But then there were the other parts. The singing to Madness and Prince in the car. Hearing our son name the graduating colours of an Arles sunset as we cruised by. Stepping out the car to see stars so bright they looked like rockets. The way that our two weeks felt so much longer because of the different places we’d seen and explored. A road trip with kids isn’t without its challenges, but we’re already planning the next one. Italy here we come

And if you can live with a little bit of flex (ideally avoiding a car break down), plan on the hoof and deal with whatever slight curve balls your journey throws at you (though hopefully not one in the face) then I highly recommend chucking everyone and everything you can fit in the car and taking off. It will be the best family holiday you ever have